About my YouTube Challenge
There are days when I really do not want to be on this planet. The reasons are myriad and certainly now includes the Coronavirus pandemic. However, that is when one fights the hardest, or the opposite, and one just stops trying. The latter, I have found is better during very difficult times. This is not to give up and shrivel and die like a wounded Rose bush of mine has just done because it had no desires or abilities to fight its surroundings, it was overwhelmed by grubs and fungal disease. Instead, as a human with a stubbornness born out of pain, abuse, and genetics I refuse to be beaten into submission past the present requirements of manipulative and unscrupulous political entities. Something has to be done.
I choose to use what talents I possess to peacefully to stop the awful onslaught caused by the pandemic affecting my small bit of existence. The good of the world can also come in small things and gestures which if practiced daily becomes a devotion that brightens everyday life. Hope is found in the smallest things. My Rose bush may have been spectacular, but had limits. The Earth is big, but also has limits. People who make the world worse do not stop. So, I want to do something peaceful and challenging that will not hurt anything or demand that I be struggling for perfect happiness.
Beginning on Friday, the ninth of July 2021, I will begin to upload a video a day showcasing my fast-painting technique. So, that is three-hundred and sixty-five videos that I will put into a playlist: My Year-Long Painting Challenge. Doing this is like lines penned by Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys in Yesterday, When I Was Mad (1994):
‘It’s fabulous you’re still around today. You’ve both made such a little go a very long way.’
Lovely, n’est-ce pas? Some might suggest it of me. Fine, you can think anything you want. I really cannot be bothered being nice to the unlikable, polite to the ignorant, or seek forgiveness in the face of a world managed so badly. The Coronavirus pandemic is the perfect example of a lack of worldly cooperation.
Apparently it is good policy to act deplorably to make profit at any cost. To win at any cost. Threaten people, threaten nations, tell lies, make hard-nosed business decisions because there are loopholes through which slimy types can slip through. Make heroes of criminals, believe any amount of conspiracy because it is easier than facing some hard facts. Lawyers who spend time sifting through laws to find devious ways for individuals and companies to avoid their responsibilities because all is fair until someone is caught. Power is a game, a very childish game and those that misuse any type of power are not just corrupted, they are fools. One would hope there is some justice but the fact is we require people to act with some honour.
These fools do not understand that the daily misery they perpetrate undermines goodwill to such an extent then nations, made of individuals, will not move collectively to fix global warming, or use combined resources to fix the Covid pandemic. People who have to be forced into action find ways to sabotage the effort. The Nazis discovered this when they used slave labour to build their empire. Flaws got built into the system; ammunition made did not fire. Even pop culture understands the concept in Star Wars where the Death Star designer Galen Erso designed in a flawed exhaust system. Overbearing entities eventually strangle themselves. This is the dilemma of humans, we know the problems, but let someone else fix them and deny culpability until the pressures overwhelm. There is no future in that. What a pointless way to live. Everyone for themselves, the continuing lesson of Covid-19.
As a person on the autism spectrum who has coped with so much abuse in my life and that I do look at the world in a different way, a neurodivergent way. I want to offer this piece of advice. If you cannot live with yourself alone without the need to cling to someone then you will fail to be filled up. No amount of dependent neediness will make you whole. People who need constant reassurance have little to nothing inside. It is the way of the control freak, the narcissist, and the overbearing parent to absorb the compliance and goodwill of their victims because they have nothing inside to offer. They are hollow beings wounded so deeply that no light reaches into their consciousness. Leave them to wallow in their depths of despair. I am used to being alone and many autistic adults become absorbed in their interests and this is not a terrible way of living.
As well, I do not subscribe to the belief a person can leave past hurts behind. No one sensible believes the past can be fixed and changed by letting horrible wounds go as by magic. Remember Frodo Baggins:
‘How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand… there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.’
I do not believe this pandemic will be resolved quickly and the future may take some dangerous turns. To make it easier for everyone, remember some things have to be done that are thankless. Frankly, people who demand constant gratitude for their services whether big or small will be disappointed. Not because the world is full of ungrateful people, but because we all do things that will fly under the radar. Picking up someone else’s rubbish does not earn you a headline, it is the right thing to do. So is getting vaccinated. We just get on with life. I am dealing with the restrictions the best way I can by consuming less, sharing my skills online through YouTube. Some other social media platforms have become toxic and add too much to an already poisonous environment. It is depressing when people project their negative images onto me and my sensitive nature will easily absorb their negative views.
Serious painting or any other form of artwork is generally a solitary activity. Autistic people are self-absorbed in intellectual clouds which seems to make our behaviour seem selfish which I find mean of others to think. All my life I have shared things, skills, and time without wanting thanks because it makes me feel uncomfortable being in social events. Like snakes which I like, people do not get us. Eventually attacking people like me diminishes our need for connection with others, we just give up. I have given up. Time instead to do what I have always done artistically alone, more public, but still maintain my distance. So, find me on YouTube, just Ctrl and Click the following link, then look for the 365 Fast-Painting Channel playlist below the banner:
https://youtube.com/channel/UC9X7JoomLBRjQ_fWrwk7qaQ
I am thinking of keeping the works to create an exhibition in a space/venue/gallery during Spring 2022.
